integrity.

For the past two days, I've been struggling at work with the project I was on.  I can't mention the name of the project but can just tell you that I'm uncomfortable, morally working on it.  The producers told me that it's "totally not jenster", whatever that might mean, but I still felt obligated to work on it.  I had to reference alot of madonna's old music videos.. (the ones that make people uncomfortable.  Last night, as I finished up the boards, I was really disgusted with myself, that I allowed myself to take part in the project.  I mean I could have spoken up and said, "I don't want to design for this project because it goes against who I am and what I stand for."  I want to stand for justice, truth, love, purity, righteousness through Christ who has redeemed me, but of course, I chickened out and went home feeling guilty before God.  I read last night, the final chapter of Ezekiel and then started reading the intro to the book of Daniel. It was stated that Daniel was a man of Integrity.  That he stood for righteousness even when his reputation was on the line.  Daniel took a stand even when he was alone.  It also stated that God allows these circumstances to happen so that He can develop us to be women and men of integrity.  I realized that I don't want to compromise my faith to please other people.  I realized that God will develop me to a point in my life where I won't be chained by the opinions of others... I found myself asking God to not let this kind of situation happen ever again, but stopped myself, wondering, "then I'm asking for the easy way out."  God knows all and will train me when He chooses to because He disciplines those He loves.  

So, I came into work today, and the producers actually wanted me back on the project.  I slowly walked over to the refrigerator, asking God to give me the strength for today to stand firm in all his ways even if I do get put down or ridiculed because of my faith.  Right then, the producer came to me and told me that I can start working on another project.  Of course I said Thank you GOD! Haha.  Let's be a people that depend on our God in everything.  That we may not compromise our faith, to please others but please God.

God, I ask you to humble me and help me to continue to rely on you.  To pray without ceasing. I ask you, Lord that you may forgive me of chickening out and being put in a situation where I put my own self before you.  I ask father that I may obey you in everything, in work, in friends, in every situation, even when I get scared.  I ask that I may be like Daniel, but a woman of integrity and a woman after your heart like David.  Help me to run for your fame and not mine. Thank you.