i am satisfied.

This is my second post on my new blogspot! woohoo. exciting. I've been contemplating whether to make a blog or not.. and i just decided to... last minute. The purpose for this blogspot would be to write my inspirations, dreams, visions, purpose, training, and goals in life. Dang that's a lot.... My life has been amazing so far with it's ups and downs. God's been breaking me a lot these days, revealing to me who I really am. It's pretty crazy looking back and seeing all the mistakes I've made and also the mistakes I'll continue to make on a day to day basis. God's been merciful to me by showing and telling me who who I've hurt, offended, and basically judged in the past two weeks. He's been forcing it out ever since I was really mad at Jay. HS's been revealing to me my pride and self righteousness. To be honest, I was in complete state of shock. It's who I never wanted to be and was trying my best in my own ability to avoid becoming. Without knowing, I was blind to my own ways and my heart deceived me and will continue to deceive me unless I look into the word and listen to the HS. The more I realize about myself and how wicked I can be, I start realizing more of the grace of God and how Beautiful Jesus is. I know it's not on my own performance and works that I'm saved but by grace.... just placing my hope, faith, trust in the Lord Jesus Christ because I know I will always be falling short. I'm always going to be falling again and again but the only thing that matters is not how many times I fail but whether I can get back up and start walking again believing and trusting in the Blood of Jesus and not on my own performance.

So, I've been writing down my thoughts and bible verses in my little red book that I purchased in Little Tokyo. So far I've finished 1 notebook and is onto this one.. I wonder how many I can fill up in a lifetime... I bet this world wouldn't be able to hold my notebooks if I wrote every single thing God's been doing in people's lives. O man! I'll be a busy woman.. writing every single moment of my life...God, You're amazing! This is why this post's title is "i am satisfied." I am not satisfied at the state I'm in, but I am satisfied the fact that God's always going to love me no matter how many times I fail... This will lead me to repentance and faithfulness to him. Because HE IS LOVE! and I want to love Him with everything that I've got because He loves me. Many times I've caught myself taking advantage of God by doing whatever I wanted....but He STILL draws me back to Him, realizing how I can be.. how fickle I can be to God, who remains faithful til the end. He continues to break me and help me realize that He's all I need. That His grace is enough for me. Anyways, so this is my first post.

The song that would fit this would be:

Tenth Avenue North: Satisfy

Satisfy me Lord, 2x
Yeah, I'm begging You, to help me see
You're all I want, You're all I need
Oh, satisfy me Lord

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're more than all this world can give
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're love is all I need to live.

I believe this should be our prayer everyday, that He will satisfy us and to help us see..