Convo with God Part 2

Another moment conversing with God.

This morning, I was in the shower and was constantly thinking about the laptop that was recently purchased and was on its way to me. My thoughts were so consumed by the idea of having something new and tangible and also at the same time bringing limitless opportunities. All of a sudden, my thoughts were interrupted.

God asked me, "Why are you eagerly waiting and counting down the days to get your laptop but you dont do that for me?"

It struck me hard that I immediately dropped my thoughts and admitted. It's true. Why would I let something that is going to waste away in this life be what my life is revolving around? I saw God's desire for me to want him more than the temporary things. So I told Him, " God, sorry. You're right. I have to make my heart right before you and not idolize stupid things like that. HAHA. Plus, You are the one that provided it anyways. I cannot cherish the gift more than the Giver."

After getting ready, I got into the car and started to listen to the radio.
After listening to Charles Stanley on 107.9 I turned it off for a second and as I left my thoughts to wander and question, I grabbed my pen, knowing how easily I forget.. and started to jot down my conversation with God.

(I advise you not to do this while driving.)

Since our natural tendency is to want control .. and how we get mad because it usually doesn't go the way we planned it.. we blame God when He's simply showing us in his mercy the truth about us... and that is we are not in control. We are not god.

Then I started to think about the iphone and how lots of people are dying to see it and have it but the more imprisoned it can make man. The more caged, imprisoned man becomes as he selectively chooses what he wants... the level of gratification.. becomes no longer gratifying cuz it all levels out to become the same... The more greener it is on the other side becomes a lifestyle that many choose when it's actually an illusion.

I realized the shorter our attention span becomes, the more picky, dependent, particular, self centered, and ultimately egotistical man becomes. The more we choose to indulge in the right now... but the less we understand that it'll lead us to self destruction.

How we refuse to confront and how we actually willingly choose to believe that avoidance is the way out when it actually leaves a more shallow, regretful life.

Risks aren't wanted because pride cannot stand failures or pain.
The value of waiting and being patient can no longer be found... which is sad because moving in the direction we are going, we will no longer understand and experience what it means to have depth in relationships and experiences. Man refuses wisdom because that means man has to be in a place of uncomfortableness where he is not in control...
And in order for us to find freedom, we must submit to truth.. BUT because man refuses to receive the truth.. he will forever be bound.

For those of you who are truly desperate for the freedom and truth, it begins with admittance. Christ then brings you to a place of no longer living for the world but leaves you in a state of rebelling against it. We begin to rebel against ourselves and our flesh.. determined to have victory in the hope of knowing that it was already overcome through Jesus Christ on the cross. Realizing this truth, sets you free. True freedom where no matter where you are.. no matter who you meet.. no matter what circumstance... you are able to walk in peace and freedom.

I desire for Christ to be the center of my life. I desire to take the reigns of my thoughts and submit before Christ so that I may walk in the freedom and peace and love that Christ has purchased on the cross for me.

John 8:32
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Amen.

Genesis 14:22-24

Genesis 14:22-24

22 But Abram said to the king of Sodom, "I have raised my hand to the LORD, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, and have taken an oath 23 that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, 'I made Abram rich.' 24 I will accept nothing but what my men have eaten and the share that belongs to the men who went with me—to Aner, Eshcol and Mamre. Let them have their share."

Observation:
Before this proposal from the King of Sodom, Abram meets Melchizedek, King of Salem who was a priest of the MOST HIGH. Many believe that Melchizedek was a type of Christ. Melchizedek possessed both positions as priest and king which is prophetic to the positions Christ would hold.. but as the high priest and the king of kings. Once Melchizedek blesses Abram saying, "Blessed be Abram by God MOST HIGH", it seemed as though Abram realized that the God that has made these promises was God Most High. It seemed to all click since even Pharaoh gave reverence to Abram. (during that time the gods of Egypt were considered powerful since Egypt was very wealthy and prosperous.) The fact that Abram chose to give tenth of everything he had to Melchizedek showed that Abram trusted him. Afterwards, King of Sodom makes his proposal to take his goods. Abram refuses to give King of Sodom any credit for what God has provided.

Application:
I've noticed that there are moments when I give credit to myself. There are moments when I talk with nonbelievers and they praise me for what I do or how I handle certain situations, but by God's grace, I'm realizing that I need to point upwards and not to myself. I know that I would not be who I am in God's grace without Him. Everything that I am is because of God and God only. Even with nonbelievers, I can't just let it slide and slowly grow in pride. I'm not who I was because of my years of practice or works. It was solely because of God.

Prayer:
Hey God,
I want to thank you for all the things you've been doing in my life. You are so faithful in even the little things. Remind me to give you credit. Humble me and break me til all I have and know is Your love for me and how I can serve you with all my heart. I am nothing without you. Lord you have said in Matthew 4:4 that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. It's true. You are the sole provider of all my needs. Help me to praise you moment to moment with my life.

Thanks Jae for recommending me to do this. This will help document my one on ones with God.

i am satisfied.

This is my second post on my new blogspot! woohoo. exciting. I've been contemplating whether to make a blog or not.. and i just decided to... last minute. The purpose for this blogspot would be to write my inspirations, dreams, visions, purpose, training, and goals in life. Dang that's a lot.... My life has been amazing so far with it's ups and downs. God's been breaking me a lot these days, revealing to me who I really am. It's pretty crazy looking back and seeing all the mistakes I've made and also the mistakes I'll continue to make on a day to day basis. God's been merciful to me by showing and telling me who who I've hurt, offended, and basically judged in the past two weeks. He's been forcing it out ever since I was really mad at Jay. HS's been revealing to me my pride and self righteousness. To be honest, I was in complete state of shock. It's who I never wanted to be and was trying my best in my own ability to avoid becoming. Without knowing, I was blind to my own ways and my heart deceived me and will continue to deceive me unless I look into the word and listen to the HS. The more I realize about myself and how wicked I can be, I start realizing more of the grace of God and how Beautiful Jesus is. I know it's not on my own performance and works that I'm saved but by grace.... just placing my hope, faith, trust in the Lord Jesus Christ because I know I will always be falling short. I'm always going to be falling again and again but the only thing that matters is not how many times I fail but whether I can get back up and start walking again believing and trusting in the Blood of Jesus and not on my own performance.

So, I've been writing down my thoughts and bible verses in my little red book that I purchased in Little Tokyo. So far I've finished 1 notebook and is onto this one.. I wonder how many I can fill up in a lifetime... I bet this world wouldn't be able to hold my notebooks if I wrote every single thing God's been doing in people's lives. O man! I'll be a busy woman.. writing every single moment of my life...God, You're amazing! This is why this post's title is "i am satisfied." I am not satisfied at the state I'm in, but I am satisfied the fact that God's always going to love me no matter how many times I fail... This will lead me to repentance and faithfulness to him. Because HE IS LOVE! and I want to love Him with everything that I've got because He loves me. Many times I've caught myself taking advantage of God by doing whatever I wanted....but He STILL draws me back to Him, realizing how I can be.. how fickle I can be to God, who remains faithful til the end. He continues to break me and help me realize that He's all I need. That His grace is enough for me. Anyways, so this is my first post.

The song that would fit this would be:

Tenth Avenue North: Satisfy

Satisfy me Lord, 2x
Yeah, I'm begging You, to help me see
You're all I want, You're all I need
Oh, satisfy me Lord

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're more than all this world can give
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're love is all I need to live.

I believe this should be our prayer everyday, that He will satisfy us and to help us see..