Unrelenting Love of God

THE UNRELENTING LOVE OF GOD

I want to talk with you about the word unrelenting. It means undiminished in
intensity or effort—unyielding, uncompromising, incapable of being changed or
persuaded by arguments. To be unrelenting is to stick to a determined course.

What a marvelous description of the love of God. Our Lord's love is absolutely
unrelenting. Nothing can hinder or diminish his loving pursuit of both sinners
and saints. David, the Psalmist, expressed it this way: "Thou has beset me
behind and before…. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I
flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make
my bed in hell, behold, thou art there" (Psalm 139:5, 7–8).

David is speaking of the great highs and lows we face in life. He's saying,
"There are times when I'm so blessed, I feel lifted with joy. At other times, I
feel like I'm living in hell, condemned and unworthy. But no matter where I am,
Lord—no matter how blessed I feel, or how low my condition is—you're there.
I can't get away from your unrelenting love. And I can't chase it away. You
never accept my arguments about how unworthy I am. Even when I'm
disobedient—sinning against your truth, taking your grace for granted—you
never stop loving me. Your love for me is relentless!"

We need to consider the testimony of the apostle Paul. As we read of Paul's
life, we see a man bent on destroying God's church. Paul was like a madman in
his hatred for Christians. He breathed out threats of slaughter against
everyone who followed Jesus. He sought the high priest's authorization to hunt
down believers so he could charge into their homes and drag them off to prison.

After he was converted, Paul testified that even during those hate-filled
years—while he was full of prejudice, blindly slaughtering Christ's
disciples—God loved him. The apostle wrote, "God commendeth his love toward
us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). He
said, in essence, "Even though I wasn't conscious of it, God was pursuing me.
He kept coming after me in love, until that day when he literally knocked me
off my high horse. That was the unrelenting love of God."

Through the years, Paul became increasingly convinced that God would love him
fervently to the end, through all his highs and lows. He stated, "I am
persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor
powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any
other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in
Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38–39). He was declaring, "Now that I'm
God's, nothing can separate me from his love. No devil, no demon, no
principality, no man, no angel—nothing can stop God from loving me."

-David Wilkerson

The Piercing Question

Do you love Me? —John 21:17

Peter’s response to this piercing question is considerably different from the bold defiance he exhibited only a few days before when he declared, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" ( Matthew 26:35 ; also see Matthew 26:33-34 ). Our natural individuality, or our natural self, boldly speaks out and declares its feelings. But the true love within our inner spiritual self can be discovered only by experiencing the hurt of this question of Jesus Christ. Peter loved Jesus in the way any natural man loves a good person. Yet that is nothing but emotional love. It may reach deeply into our natural self, but it never penetrates to the spirit of a person. True love never simply declares itself. Jesus said, "Whoever confesses Me before men [that is, confesses his love by everything he does, not merely by his words], him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God" ( Luke 12:8 ).

Unless we are experiencing the hurt of facing every deception about ourselves, we have hindered the work of the Word of God in our lives. The Word of God inflicts hurt on us more than sin ever could, because sin dulls our senses. But this question of the Lord intensifies our sensitivities to the point that this hurt produced by Jesus is the most exquisite pain conceivable. It hurts not only on the natural level, but also on the deeper spiritual level. "For the Word of God is living and powerful . . . , piercing even to the division of soul and spirit . . ."— to the point that no deception can remain ( Hebrews 4:12). When the Lord asks us this question, it is impossible to think and respond properly, because when the Lord speaks directly to us, the pain is too intense. It causes such a tremendous hurt that any part of our life which may be out of line with His will can feel the pain. There is never any mistaking the pain of the Lord’s Word by His children, but the moment that pain is felt is the very moment at which God reveals His truth to us.

-Oswald Chambers

Intimacy

God give me, a deep humility,a well-guided zeal, a burning love and a single eye, and then let men or devils do their worst. - george whitefield.

Unconditionally Forgiving Others

by Nancy Missler

King's High Way

There's a huge difference between simply knowing that we possess God's Life in our hearts and actually experiencing it in our lives. The key to being able to do this, moment by moment, is understanding how to surrender ourselves to the Lord. This process is what we have been exploring over these last several months in Personal UPDATE. The steps we are learning are not ones that I have made up or that I saw in some "self-help" psychology book. These are the actual steps that the priests took in Solomon's Temple in order to deal with their sin and be reconciled to God. And, they are the same steps we must take each time we quench God's Spirit. The essential steps are:

1) Recognizing, acknowledging and experiencing our ungodly thoughts and emotions as they come in.

2) Confessing our sin and self, choosing to "turn around" from following them and unconditionally forgiving anyone who has wronged us.

3) Giving over to God all that He has shown us that is not of faith, and...

4) Reading God's Word and replacing the lies with the truth.

Isaiah 24:15 reminds us that we are to "glorify [or reflect] the Lord in the fire..." And going through these steps, moment by moment, is the only way we can do this. Thus far in Personal UPDATE, we have studied the first step and part of the second. This month, let's continue exploring how we unconditionally forgive those who have hurt, betrayed or wronged us.

Unconditional Forgiveness

There are really two parts to forgiveness: first, our relationship to God; and second, our relationship to the other person. The primary reason we must forgive is because God commands it in Scripture. Mark 11:25-26 tells us, "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have anything against any: that your Father also, Who is in heaven, may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father, Who is in heaven, forgive your trespasses."

The next reason we are to forgive is to be able to reconcile with the other person. When we choose to unconditionally forgive them, we will be clean before the Lord, and we can know He will then give us the Love we need for that other person. The only way we can genuinely love those that have wronged us is by unconditionally forgiving them (or releasing them to God) and then, becoming an open vessel for God's Love to flow. If we don't do this, Scripture tells us what will happen - the enemy will get an advantage in us (2 Corinthians 2:11).

So, there are at least four good reasons why we must forgive others: 1) God says so in His Word. 2) Our relationship with Him will be quenched if we don't. 3) We won't have His Love flowing through us if we choose not to. And, 4) The enemy will get an advantage in us if we won't obey.

Now, if that other person comes to us and asks forgiveness, then our relationship with him has a wonderful chance of being healed and we can end up even closer than we were before. If, however, that other person never repents and never comes to ask our forgiveness, then there will be a breach in our relationship and only God's wise Love can operate. The Bible exhorts us, however, that we are still to love them wisely. In other words, we are still to be an open vessel for God's Love to flow through us to them.

An Example: "Only When They Come to Me First"

I once knew a young Christian woman who was completely unwilling to forgive her friends for the unkind things they had done to her. The girl used to say to me, "Only when they come to me first and ask my forgiveness, will I ever forgive them. Never, until then." She was angry, not only at her friends, but also at God for allowing these things to have happened. Now, what these young people had done to this young woman was wrong and she was justified by worldly standards to be hurt and angry. But, God's Word tells us that we must be willing to unconditionally forgive whatever that other party has done to us, regardless of whether they ever ask our forgiveness or not.

In other words, our choice to unconditionally forgive releases God to work, not only in us, but also in them. When we don't forgive, we not only are being disobedient to God's Word, but we are also opening ourselves up for the enemy's arrows. As far as I know, this young woman is still waiting for her friends to come to her and still unwilling to forgive them until they do. The last time I saw her, she physically had turned into a bitter "old" woman. The sad part is, she is only 30 years old! It's interesting because we reflect on the outside the baggage that we carry around with us on the inside. And how the enemy has reveled in this young woman's bondage of unforgiveness. Her friends were not his prisoners, she was! And all because she refused to do what God's Word says, unconditionally forgive those who have wronged us and love them wisely with God's Love.

Now, I agree that sometimes it seems almost impossible to forgive what another person has done to us. But this is just another place where we can choose to trust God for His supernatural wisdom and Love. Remember, we don't need to feel our choices, we must simply be willing to make them. They're called "faith choices" or "non-feeling choices." God then, in His timing and in His way, will align our feelings with what we have chosen and perform His Word through us. In other words, if we totally give ourselves over to Jesus and love Him, He will enable us to genuinely forgive and love others. II Corinthians 2:10 tells us, "to whom ye forgive any thing, I [Paul] forgive also; for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ." In other words, because of what Jesus has done for us, we can extend that same unconditional forgiveness to others.

Again, Picture a Triangle

Picture the process of forgiveness like the triangle: We are on the bottom left-hand side of the triangle; God is at the top; and that other person we are trying to forgive is on the bottom right-hand side of the triangle. We choose to unconditionally forgive that other person, which then releases him to God and cleanses us; God then gives us His Love and His forgiveness for that other person; and prayerfully he will eventually be convicted, come and ask our forgiveness. In the meantime, however, we are free to go on with our lives, and continue to love as God would have us. Always remember that our hurt feelings will only heal after we have made the appropriate faith choices to forgive and release that other person. Not before (Matthew 18:28-35)!

An Example: Wounds from Our "Friends"

As Christian brothers and sisters, Scripture tells us that we are "to love at all times (Proverbs 17:17)." Now, this doesn't mean sticking our heads in the sand and never taking a stand if someone we know is doing something out of line. It does mean, however, and Scripture confirms, that if we hear something bad about someone or we see them doing something ungodly, we are to go to them and ask them about it, "speaking the truth in love," (Ephesians 4:15).

Not too long ago, someone I love very much heard an evil report about me, but rather than come to me and ask if it was true, she believed the gossip and angrily told many others. When I found out what she had done, I was crushed. This friend not only did not come to me when she first heard the rumor, she never repented of her own error when she found out the truth.

Therefore, I was left with a choice. I could choose by faith (because I certainly didn't feel like it) to unconditionally forgive her, thereby reconciling myself to God and opening a way for Him to work in her; or I could hold on to my "justified" unforgiveness (because what she did was wrong), create a breach between God and me and end up giving the enemy another handle, or hideout, in me.

The Lord showed me that one of the reasons this recent incident was so very painful, was that I still had some buried debris (unforgiveness) over our bankruptcy experience many years ago, where other Christians had maliciously gossiped and slandered us. This latest incident was just the catalyst that triggered much deeper, hidden roots of bitterness in me. Now, I thought I had dealt with all these things years ago, but the Lord showed me that deep wounds like this often take longer periods of time to heal - i.e., for our feelings to align with our choices. God also showed me that if there is more debris in the hidden chambers of our soul over a certain situation, He will allow our emotions to again be stirred up, so that these hidden things can be exposed and we can take the proper steps to deal with them.

This was exactly what He was doing in me through this incident. Deuteronomy 7:20 affirms this, "The Lord thy God will send the hornet among them, until they who are left and hide themselves from thee, be destroyed." I suppose if God brought up all our deep-seated hurts at once, we probably would not be able to handle it. But, our God is gentle and kind and His timing is always perfect.

Our Lord's Example

The Lord tells us over and over again in Scripture that unconditional forgiveness is a vital part of all our relationships. A true loving relationship is one that doesn't require any explanations and where we always have the assurance of receiving the benefit of the doubt (1 Corinthians 13). A true Christian friend is one who forgives (7 x 70) and shuns any form of betrayal. Oh, how the Christian body needs more of these genuine love relationships.

Now, if we are at fault in a situation and we seek God's face, often He will have us go back to the person we offended and ask his or her forgiveness. Remember, however, that each situation is different. Sometimes seeking and receiving God's forgiveness in our own hearts and minds will be enough. At other times, God will have us physically go and ask for the other person's forgive�ness. In each instance, we must always pray and seek God's will. The Lord not only promises to tell us what to do, but He also promises to give us the Love and strength we need to be able to do what He requires.

It goes without saying, however, that we must continue to be wise and always seek God's will. One woman I know went to a friend who had hurt her and told her that she forgave her for what she had done. Well, the accused lady was horrified because she was not even aware that there was a problem. Thus, the woman's verbal forgiveness did more harm than good and drove a wedge even deeper into their relationship. The general rule is: If you are at fault in a situation, always seek God's will as to whether or not He wants you to go and ask forgiveness of the other person. If the other person is at fault, unconditionally forgive them and lay it down at the cross. Don't go and tell them that you forgive them. It only makes matters worse, especially if the person involved wasn't even aware there was a problem to begin with (as in the above incident). Just take care of the matter between you and the Lord and then, go on and love them wisely with God's Love.

Receive God's Forgiveness

Along with understanding how God wants us to forgive others, it's also imperative that we receive by faith God's forgiveness for whatever sins we may have committed. Again, 1 John 1:9 confirms that, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us [all] our sins..."

If you have trouble believing and receiving God's forgiveness, I would suggest making a list of all the Scriptures you can find on forgiveness, putting them on 3 x 5 cards and reading them over and over again. By faith, choose to believe what those Scriptures say. Remember, we walk by faith, not by feelings. God, in His perfect timing, will align our feelings to match what we have chosen to believe and we will begin to experience His forgiveness in our life: "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: But whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy (Proverbs 28:13)."

Many women have written me about the horrible sexual abuse they received as children. One dear woman named Jan not only wrote me her own story, but confirmed, over and over again, that the steps we are now learning really work. Another woman wrote, "How awesome it has been since I have begun to do this. Making the choice to do what God wants even when I don't feel like it, has helped me tremendously. I didn't know you don't have to feel willing, but just be willing!"

These women, and many others who have written, have been set free to a degree that most of us will never comprehend. And, if it works for them, how much more will this process of cleansing and unconditional forgiving work in our everyday lives. The story in Matthew 18:23 - 35 is a very appropriate place to end.

All we need is Christ

“Whoever is not satisfied with Christ alone, strives after something beyond absolute perfection.”
- John Calvin

Keep on loving

Keep on Loving

The Weekly Walk

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God." - 1 John 4:7

If obeying God's command to love one another depended on me, I'd be in a bad way. You would be too. But happily, we're not the ones who are doing the loving. First John 4:7 gives me hope: "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God."

"Beloved, let us love one another." Literally the verb tense in the original language means, Let’s keep on loving one another. Let's don't do it for an hour or for a day. Let's don’t do it for a week or for a month. Let's do it until the day we die. God's kind of love goes on and on. We're not perfect, but God is changing and growing all of us. God's kind of love builds history together. Let's love . . . wait, let’s keep on loving one another.

"Beloved, let us love one another." What a great exhortation. What strife cannot be stalked by love? What pride cannot be pummeled by love? What conflict cannot be crushed by a supernatural, sent-from-heaven love? That’s why the verse says, "For love is from God." Chemistry is good, but that's not what God’s love is about. We all need true friends, but God's love goes farther than that. His love is a supernatural love, a love that you and I are not capable of doing ourselves. Love does not come naturally to us. What's natural is to hate when you're hated, to attack when you're attacked, to hurt others when you yourself have been hurt. But to love is to give back something different than what you receive in these situations.

Have you observed how often God puts opportunities right in front of us that call us to do what's not natural? I've got the natural thing down, but loving deeply requires God. A genuine conversion experience always precedes a supernatural love. We just don’t have that kind of love ourselves. How great that we are God's.

James MacDonald

Do I wear the marks of a Christian?

Do I Wear the Marks?

"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life. And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." - 1 John 5:13-15

Are you a Christian? How do you know?

You're not a Christian because you say you are anymore than you're in Cincinnati because you know how to get there. Being a Christian is not about knowing how to become a Christian; it's about knowing you are one.

If you don't have a mane; if you don't have sharp teeth; if you don't have a long tail - you're not a lion no matter what you say.

If you don't have tires; if you don't have a motor; and if you don't have a steering wheel - you're not a car no matter you say.

If you can't carry a tune; and if you can't hit a note; and if your singing doesn't bless people - stick to the shower, because you're not a soloist no matter what you say.

In the same sense, Christians have fruit; they have characteristics; they have evidence; they have identifying marks.

John said in 1 John 5:13, "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life." You can have the assurance that you're saved. You don't have to wonder - just ask yourself, "Do I have the identifying marks?"

The book of 1 John repeatedly explains the distinguishing characteristics of followers of Christ. No one has them perfectly, but look at your life and ask yourself if you're increasing in these marks:

Am I loving more deeply? Not perfectly, but increasingly...

Am I obeying more faithfully? Not perfectly, but increasingly...

Am I living authentically? The Christian life is not a charade. I'm not wearing a mask. I'm not acting like I'm something I'm not. My heart is very tender to the Lord and He's growing me. That's part of being a real Christian.

When you see these marks in your life, and you know that you long to know Him more and be passionate about doing what pleases Him increasingly more in your life, then your heart swells with assurance. You belong to Him.

found this on flickr. i totally agree. I believe the church of Jesus Christ has the most important role in the world and that is to point to people to Jesus Christ, share the gospel, and make disciples.

sweetly broken

Sweetly Broken - Jeremy Riddle

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of it's suffering I do drink
Of it's work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just
Chorus:

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled
In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness.

While doing my quiet time two nights ago, I kneeled before the Lord and asked him to speak to me if he chose to. I failed him a million times that day and will continue to fail every day but what I knew was that He would never leave me and will continue to finish the work He has started in me. His spirit gently brings me to my knees surrendering all that I have. As I came to the light, I read this in His word. Ezekiel 36:26 - 29.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. I will save you from all your uncleanness."

I look back at my life before I re-dedicated my life to Jesus. My heart was a heart of stone. I was apathetic. I didn't care about much. I wandered without a real goal overworking myself, knowing that even money wouldn't bring me happiness. During my church retreat in 07, God spoke through Debi, (a sister that I admire so much.) and broke me causing me to weep whenever I thought of the cross. I couldn't even speak because the spirit was grieving in me. I wanted to scream to the world the love of Christ and our beautiful God. When school started, my cousin Jane who has also been miraculously delivered from drug addictions, told me to start a bible study. That bible study is called Passion Church. He worked miraculously during senior year through passion church, helping us to bond more as a family and to be there for one another. We've seen each other being healed before our eyes. God's amazing. Another time, he gave me an opportunity to have passion church with Yun's sister and mom who were visitng from Korea. Only by the holy spirit, there was conviction within Yun's sister and her mom that after I left, they were blown away what God was trying to do the whole time. Recently, I met up with Yun again and she told me that her father was starting to go to church. He's now in love with Jesus and with God. Amazing how God can transform a heart of stone to a heart of flesh. Yun told me that she hears from her sister what He does at home and how He can't stop talking about Jesus and the bible. Praise God! God's been faithful and will continue to be faithful to us. I can't write into words the love He has shown me and is continuing to show me. All I can say is that I don't deserve any of this but that is the main reason why it's through grace I am saved. With mercy, God is training me to love him in every situation and to lay down my life everyday.

O God, renew my spirit and fill me every day with your unfailing love. Help me to reach the lost. Burden my heart with the brokenness in your heart so that I may go out of my way to please you and bring those you have called back to knowing you and loving you, because there's nothing like it. You are like... totally out of this world. I wished everyone could turn to you and believe in you... I guess that's why you have placed Christians here, so that we can pray on their behalf, and to intercede for people who do not know you.

I remember watching Prince of Egypt a couple months back for the first time after being saved and man, that broke me so much. God is beautiful. My spirit started to grieve again for my brothers and sisters that were in bondage to the world just like the israelites were enslaved by the Egyptians. God calls Moses to bring His people out of slavery to freedom into the promised land. God told me while watching this how I was a slave to sin and now He has brought me out. The Israelites are God's people enslaved. This is why we evangelize, to bring them to repentance before the holy of holies, to help break off the chains of apathy, indifference, suicide, pride, lies, etc...That movie is super annointed even though it's done by Dreamworks. And there is no limit to God. He uses even people who don't know Him to speak... that's crazy.. and these people don't even know it's God using them in His plan.. Anyways. Got to get to work early tommorrow.

Good night world.

today's sermon

Hey everyone. I'm baaackkk. I don't know why I'm but I'm always super excited to post new stuff on my blog. Came back from church and will need to go bowling at 6ish.. so this will be a bit short. Plus, my mum is making me dinner. So the sermon verse for today was Romans 8:28-30. Spoken through Pastor Chris. I added a bit of stuff in it too..

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Pastor Chris went over the topic of struggling last week so I'll review a bit. When struggling, God teaches us things that can only be taught in hardship such as gentleness, compassion, patience, sympathy, etc.... Basically one who experienced a similar situation can influence and help you more since they've gone through the same thing. There's a korean saying, "If you haven't gone through this, just don't say anything." God uses suffering so that He could draw us to him. Whenever we fall into temptation, we are humbled, helping us realize how much more we need God and his Word to overcome. So, in all cases, we must understand that when it's written ALL WORKS in v28, it includes the good and the bad,.. not only the good. We might win the lottery or have a business that is going well, and believe that God is using this work for the good of us. This might be so, but I would ask what about the deaths that happen in our families? or bankruptcies? or heartbreaks? Is that being used by God to later glorify Him? I believe so.. The world might see blessings as in forms of money, luck, fortunes, etc... but that's not always so in the eyes of God. In order to make one more Christlike, would be seen as a blessing. The struggles, pain, and perhaps more persecution in the near future will help us realize that it's not because God's calling down curses on us but many of the times it's for us to learn how to be humbled, to be humiliated, to be meek, and basically to be more Christlike. (many times though, the hardships are sometimes what we had sown (sin) and now are reaping.) But as followers of Christ, we must share in His suffering so that we may later be glorified with His son, Jesus Christ. Romans 8:17...."Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

"...for the good of those who love him..." v28. this shows that we must love him above anything and anyone else.. love him more than ourselves and our flesh. Pastor Chris mentioned that there are 9 categories of love with God.
1... mm.. i forgot this one... will ask soon.
2. to trust in his power to protect His own.
3. to have peace that only He can impart.. (this comes with training.. not depending on one's emotions but holding onto truth.)
4. is sensitive to His will and His honor.
5. to love what God loves. (you'll learn about what he loves when you read his word.)
6. to love people.
7. to hate what God hates. (violence, sin, etc.)
8. longs for Christ's return.
9. Obedience. (2 John 1:6 And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.)

I've always asked God to help me to love Him with everything I've got.. and Pastor Chris had listed out the things I need to surrender and things I should pray more specifically about. Sooo.. what is the purpose that v28 is talking about?? Everyone is wondering about purpose in life. Rick Warren sold millions of copies with the book, "Purpose Driven Life." This shows how many people are truly wondering what their purpose is. This is pretty blatantly written in verse 29. We are to be conformed to the likeness of His son.

Summary: We should continue to ask God to conform us into the perfect image of Love which is Christ. For us to hate ourselves and our sin and love God more than ourselves. To be in complete obedience to God and take the reins of our thoughts and surrender it to our Lord Jesus Christ.

How are we going to not lash back because we were humiliated for the name of Jesus, if we do not obey now? How are we going to love when we can't even love someone that talked behind our back? How are we going to forgive those who will piss at our face like Brother Yun in heavenly man? Oman, when I heard what he did, I asked the Lord to give me a heart like that. I want to be tested and tried. I want to be gold refined in the fire. To learn how to love no matter what the circumstance but it's because I want to be obedient to Him.

This reminds me of Misty Edward's sermon/testimony for Fascinate 08. Powerful sermon on the relevance of Life. Enjoy!

Here it's you and me alone, God.

i am satisfied.

This is my second post on my new blogspot! woohoo. exciting. I've been contemplating whether to make a blog or not.. and i just decided to... last minute. The purpose for this blogspot would be to write my inspirations, dreams, visions, purpose, training, and goals in life. Dang that's a lot.... My life has been amazing so far with it's ups and downs. God's been breaking me a lot these days, revealing to me who I really am. It's pretty crazy looking back and seeing all the mistakes I've made and also the mistakes I'll continue to make on a day to day basis. God's been merciful to me by showing and telling me who who I've hurt, offended, and basically judged in the past two weeks. He's been forcing it out ever since I was really mad at Jay. HS's been revealing to me my pride and self righteousness. To be honest, I was in complete state of shock. It's who I never wanted to be and was trying my best in my own ability to avoid becoming. Without knowing, I was blind to my own ways and my heart deceived me and will continue to deceive me unless I look into the word and listen to the HS. The more I realize about myself and how wicked I can be, I start realizing more of the grace of God and how Beautiful Jesus is. I know it's not on my own performance and works that I'm saved but by grace.... just placing my hope, faith, trust in the Lord Jesus Christ because I know I will always be falling short. I'm always going to be falling again and again but the only thing that matters is not how many times I fail but whether I can get back up and start walking again believing and trusting in the Blood of Jesus and not on my own performance.

So, I've been writing down my thoughts and bible verses in my little red book that I purchased in Little Tokyo. So far I've finished 1 notebook and is onto this one.. I wonder how many I can fill up in a lifetime... I bet this world wouldn't be able to hold my notebooks if I wrote every single thing God's been doing in people's lives. O man! I'll be a busy woman.. writing every single moment of my life...God, You're amazing! This is why this post's title is "i am satisfied." I am not satisfied at the state I'm in, but I am satisfied the fact that God's always going to love me no matter how many times I fail... This will lead me to repentance and faithfulness to him. Because HE IS LOVE! and I want to love Him with everything that I've got because He loves me. Many times I've caught myself taking advantage of God by doing whatever I wanted....but He STILL draws me back to Him, realizing how I can be.. how fickle I can be to God, who remains faithful til the end. He continues to break me and help me realize that He's all I need. That His grace is enough for me. Anyways, so this is my first post.

The song that would fit this would be:

Tenth Avenue North: Satisfy

Satisfy me Lord, 2x
Yeah, I'm begging You, to help me see
You're all I want, You're all I need
Oh, satisfy me Lord

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're more than all this world can give
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're love is all I need to live.

I believe this should be our prayer everyday, that He will satisfy us and to help us see..